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You Can't Polish A Nerd floppy disk + free download


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At last! The Nerds have recorded their latest tour show You Can't Polish A Nerd and you can own the results on floppy disk. That's right. We're serious. It's also available as a DVD or download over here, because we're serious but we're not daft.

It's guaranteed to put the “oooh” into zoology, the “fun” into fundamental theorem of calculus and the “recursion” into recursion in the ultimate show for nerds and non-nerds. 

For this very limited (in many ways...) edition, we've split the show across 227 numbered floppy disks, each with approximately 30 seconds of footage in a playable video file. If you choose this option, you'll get one of the signed disks - randomly selected - together with a special version of the DVD booklet in a presentation pack for just £4π (£12.57). You'll also get an email to download the show in HD, so you can actually watch it. Or simply track down the other 226 disk-owners and organise a meet-up-and-watch party! Whatever you find easiest. 

Alternatively you can order the entire show on floppy disk for a mere £1,440. If that happens, we'll pick our collective jaws off the floor and get a second set of floppy disks made just for you. And then we'll never make another show on floppy disk ever again. We promise.  

You can get our other shows Just For Graphs and Full Frontal Nerdity on DVD, download and VHS from just £π over here. Also: get the t-shirt!

What do I get?

  • One randomly selected floppy disk with a single, unique and numbered chunks of the show in low resolution .mp4 format, mounted on a matching numbered souvenir booklet. Plus a link to download the following: 
  • 107 minutes of You Can't Polish A Nerd, filmed live at London's Arts Depot theatre.
  • Subtitles in English.
  • "Safer For Schools" soundtrack.
  • Five hours of behind-the-scenes commentaries from Matt, Steve and Helen.
  • Matt's infinitely long DVD Unboxing Video.
  • 16-page booklet full of bonus nerdity in PDF format.
  • DRM free, classified by BBFC as suitable for ages 12 and over.

How do I access the file on the floppy disk?

You'll need a 3.5 inch floppy disk drive for starters, to access the file and transfer it over to your computer. The file is in a low resolution .mp4 format, which will most likely play just fine on your default video player, such as VLC (our recommended player, available here), MPlayerX, Windows Media Player, or the latest versions of Quicktime and iTunes.

How do I play the full show download?

The full download is also in .mp4 format, but at full resolution. So the same playing recommendations as above will apply, you just don't need to transfer if off an outmoded form of data storage first.

How do I access the subtitles and extra audio tracks?

Some media players are better than others at handling multiple audio tracks and subtitles. 

If you have problems accessing the bonus features on your default player, we recommend downloading free video player VLC for Windows or Mac ( It definitely plays the file in our download and all the bonus features.

About the Spoken Nerds

  • “Science was never such hilarious explosive fun” (Richard Herring)
  • “They make science fun and understandable which is a great combo” (Sandi Toksvig, BBC QI)
  • ‘‘Made me go Hydrogen Argon, Hydrogen Argon, Hydrogen Argon” (Rufus Hound)
  • “These nerds are the real deal” (Ben Goldacre, Bad Science)

What the critics said about the show

  • **** “Fantastic and funny… you don’t need to be a nerd to enjoy this show” (Broadway Baby)
  • “The nerds are back, and they’re bigger and better than ever” (Redbrick Magazine)
  • **** “Sharp wit and quick thinking… a fantastic night of comedy” (The National Student)
  • "Part of rationalism's desperate rearguard action" (Sunday Times)