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You Can't Polish A Nerd Download Gift Pack


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At last! The Nerds have recorded their latest tour show You Can't Polish A Nerd and you can own the results.

It's guaranteed to put the “oooh” into zoology, the “fun” into fundamental theorem of calculus and the “recursion” into recursion in the ultimate show for nerds and non-nerds. 

Buy the gift pack and we'll email you a link to download the show. On top of that we'll post you a luxury 16-page booklet full of bonus nerdity (a special edition of the DVD booklet) which includes a second code to download the show in HD. It's the perfect gift to treat yourself, and also a nerdy friend or loved one too.

And it's only available here at the Spoken Nerd shop!

IMPORTANT NOTE: If you've bought the Download Gift Pack, or received it as a gift, and now want to download the show, go here to redeem your code. 

The show is available on DVD and floppy disk. You can also get the t-shirt

Our other shows Just For Graphs and Full Frontal Nerdity are also available on download, DVD, Gift Pack and VHS - get them here.

What's in the download?

  • 107 minutes of You Can't Polish A Nerd, filmed live at London's Arts Depot theatre.
  • Subtitles in English.
  • "Safer For Schools" soundtrack.
  • Five hours of behind-the-scenes commentaries from Matt, Steve and Helen.
  • Matt's infinitely long DVD Unboxing Video.
  • 16-page PDF booklet full of bonus nerdity and experiments to do at home.
  • DRM free, classified by BBFC as suitable for ages 12 and over.

How do I play the free download?

The download is in .mp4 format, which will most likely play just fine on your default video player, such as VLC (our recommended player, available here), MPlayerX, Windows Media Player, or the latest versions of Quicktime and iTunes.

How do I access the subtitles and extra audio tracks?

Some media players are better than others at handling multiple audio tracks and subtitles. 

If you have problems accessing the bonus features on your default player, we recommend downloading free video player VLC for Windows or Mac ( It definitely plays the file in our download and all the bonus features.

For retail enquiries and bulk orders, email

About the Spoken Nerds

  • “Science was never such hilarious explosive fun” (Richard Herring)
  • “They make science fun and understandable which is a great combo” (Sandi Toksvig, BBC QI)
  • ‘‘Made me go Hydrogen Argon, Hydrogen Argon, Hydrogen Argon” (Rufus Hound)
  • “These nerds are the real deal” (Ben Goldacre, Bad Science)

What the critics said about the show

  • **** “Fantastic and funny… you don’t need to be a nerd to enjoy this show” (Broadway Baby)
  • “The nerds are back, and they’re bigger and better than ever” (Redbrick Magazine)
  • **** “Sharp wit and quick thinking… a fantastic night of comedy” (The National Student)
  • "Part of rationalism's desperate rearguard action" (Sunday Times)